Codependent Garden
I'm just trying to have a relationship with some dirt and vegetables. Can't anything be easy?
“The way we do anything is the way we do everything.” -Martha Beck
I’ve wanted to raise a garden for years, but that goal has been out of reach for several reasons. The lack of a suitable location and the high cost of water for irrigation have been the greatest obstacles to my gardening dream in the past. Moving to the house on the ranch last March eliminated those obstacles. The most ideal location for a garden plot exists in my backyard, not far from Lucy and Ethel’s chicken coop, and the house is supplied with water from a well. I’ve spent exactly one year and three days dreaming of the garden I will grow this year. I’m extremely excited about it!
I remember helping my grandfather in his garden when I was little, mostly helping harvest the ripe vegetables and dragging the water hose around. I would help my grandmother with the preserving end of the operation, shelling peas and scraping corn off of cobs were my specialty in that department. I’ve been so patient waiting for spring so I can start planting, weeding, watering, and harvesting my dream garden. I’ve bought seeds, starting trays, heat mats, and grow lights for seedlings to start in the house. I have romanticized every aspect of gardening, from the variety of vegetables in my yard that aren’t available from my small-town grocery store to treating Lucy and Ethel to their share of the bounty. It’s going to be so great!!!
Do you know what I haven’t done in the 359 days I’ve lived in this house? I haven’t learned a single thing about gardening. Not one. I hadn’t even tried to learn anything before last week when I started researching “how to prepare rows for planting a vegetable garden in Texas.” It turns out I am weeks, nay… months behind in preparing my garden to grow anything. I should have started my research in the early fall. Then, I would have had time to learn how to execute the preparation of the garden bed by amending the soil with nutrients the soil may lack, properly working the soil into a hospitable condition for delicate seeds and seedlings, and creating fertilizer from compost. I would have also been able to start my seeds in the house in time for them to grow strong before transplanting… I should have started my seeds three weeks ago; I started one tray three days ago.
There’s no way I can even come close to being ready to plant a garden this season. That leaves me with two options:
Postpone the garden until next year (again) and spend the year learning what chores should be done and when. I can do all the prep while learning the prep and be prepped for a badass garden. I’ll have time to learn what the garden expects from me and examine how much I’m willing to commit to the relationship.
Sow some seeds in the available ground as-is and hope for the best. I would have to start the process knowing that I am almost guaranteed to be disappointed with the result. I must keep a good attitude and not give up when working extra hard for a weedy, low-yield crop.
It seems like a simple decision if you approach it with logic. I should take the year to prepare the garden and myself for a successful season. But I want a garden so bad, and I’m not a “delayed gratification” person. I have a fantasy in my head of what my garden could be and an unfounded belief that if I want it to be wonderful, it will be.
I can’t believe that I have come so far in understanding and overcoming the nature of my codependency with human beings. Yet, I’m struggling to resist a codependent relationship with some dirt and vegetables.
It appears that Martha is right. The way I do anything IS the way I do everything.
The whole thing is damn disappointing.
Keep the faith! After a quick Google search it appears that there’s a lot you can do this season to prepare (including planting some green manure plants.)
Glad your desire for a garden got you to a better living space! It's ok to take your time!
You are such a hard worker💕