The More Things Change...

The More They Stay The Same

Photo by Jens Lelie on Unsplash

I have been thinking about the direction of this newsletter for a few weeks. After writing extensively about abuse and dysfunction in my marriage, writing that George and I have decided to reconcile our marriage has felt a little “off brand.” When I started writing here, I had an expectation of what my life would look like at the end of the year, and it didn’t include any intimate relationship. Despite all I’ve written about the beautiful side of our love story, I certainly didn’t see myself with George again, but here we are.

When my friends come to me to vent about a partner, I have to stop them before they start. I stop them and let them know that if they turn me against their partner, it will be almost impossible to turn me back around. Now, I feel that it’s entirely possible that my venting about George has negatively skewed your opinion of him, and you may be completely turned off that I’m giving him another chance. You might even say that I’m not being true to the intention of this newsletter.

Considering all that, I debated closing the newsletter or changing the description to fit the current situation. When I reminded myself what the description actually says, I realized that neither of those are necessary.

From my Welcome page:

Unlearning codependent behaviors online in real-time. I write about trauma, addiction, abuse, and relationships, especially the toxic kind. I also write about dogs, chickens, and cows. Why? Because I’m versatile like that.

From my About page:

I started the Repurposed Kate newsletter to document my first year of recovery from codependent behavior patterns. Making my journey public instead of keeping a private journal holds me accountable to you, my reader. As long as you expect something from me, I’ll post it here.

From my pinned Hero post:

Welcome to Repurposed Kate, where I write about my past (childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, and codependency/toxic relationships), my present (recovery, physical health, finances, divorce), and my future (who knows what the future has in store for me, but I’m hoping for cows).

There’s no rule against reconciling in codependency. As long as we are both well aware of boundaries and both committed to enforcing them, there’s no reason we can’t work everything out. There’s also no rule about not documenting it online. Unlearning codependent patterns is the objective whether I am writing about it or not, whether I’m with George or not. Since there are only 27 weeks left in this project, I’m going to carry on as I have been. I hope you will continue to ride along with me through the ups and downs.

If you will excuse me, I have to get ready for dinner. Today is my fifth wedding anniversary, and my husband has asked me out on a date. He bought me a gift: a charm for the bracelet he gave me before our wedding. The charm shows a couple facing each other, holding hands. It was the perfect choice. The best gift he’s given me is two full months without whiskey. I still believe whiskey was the biggest problem all along.