Hello, sister. How many years did I check those boxes. I look back at the years I spent in unpaid volunteer positions, full-time. Was I appreciated? No. Only criticized. Taking on my boss’s responsibilities - all of them - until he threw me under the bus. Did I realize that he was off getting drunk while I was doing his job? Of course not! He was such a great guy! Enough said. Keep writing. It will save you. DM me anytime.❤️
This is so interesting. I think I know other people who have co-dependency.
It’s making me think of a colleague who works all hours, evenings, weekends, days off. She does really great work and is always helping people. But you know what? I have to work really hard at not being drawn in to match her output. I know I have to because I’ve been there and burned out before. I find myself having to be really careful around internalising feelings that I’m not doing enough, that I’m not doing as much as her, or even as much as I could be, because I want to do other things too. Sometimes nothing. Sometimes I just want to feel ok doing nothing and being available for something spontaneous should it come up. Some might call this lazy or self-centred but I’m ok with that now. I hope this isn’t sounding in anyway critical, I’m just connecting the dots because you made me think about what might be driving my colleague.
You may be onto something… Sometimes it’s easier for others to see the codependency in us than it is for us to see it in ourselves. But once we see it in ourselves, we can’t not see it.
You see it is time to stand up for your self. Your time is important. To rise 3 am to write is a start in the right direction.
It helps that I have a 70-pound puppy that wakes me up to go potty at 3 a.m. I can’t say no to him, either. 🤪🐾
Hello, sister. How many years did I check those boxes. I look back at the years I spent in unpaid volunteer positions, full-time. Was I appreciated? No. Only criticized. Taking on my boss’s responsibilities - all of them - until he threw me under the bus. Did I realize that he was off getting drunk while I was doing his job? Of course not! He was such a great guy! Enough said. Keep writing. It will save you. DM me anytime.❤️
Thank you, Mary. Glad to know I'm not alone.
This is so interesting. I think I know other people who have co-dependency.
It’s making me think of a colleague who works all hours, evenings, weekends, days off. She does really great work and is always helping people. But you know what? I have to work really hard at not being drawn in to match her output. I know I have to because I’ve been there and burned out before. I find myself having to be really careful around internalising feelings that I’m not doing enough, that I’m not doing as much as her, or even as much as I could be, because I want to do other things too. Sometimes nothing. Sometimes I just want to feel ok doing nothing and being available for something spontaneous should it come up. Some might call this lazy or self-centred but I’m ok with that now. I hope this isn’t sounding in anyway critical, I’m just connecting the dots because you made me think about what might be driving my colleague.
You may be onto something… Sometimes it’s easier for others to see the codependency in us than it is for us to see it in ourselves. But once we see it in ourselves, we can’t not see it.