Repurposed Kate's Weekly Update #4

Time to Get Writing!!!! (And learning how to size pics for SS posts... Sorry.)

Photo by Matilda Alloway on Unsplash

Hello, Amazing Subscribers... all TWENTY-THREE of you glorious humans!!

I hope this email finds you well as week #4 of 2024 comes to a close. If you have been with me from the beginning of my Substack journey, you know that a short list of intentions created monumental changes for me in 2023 and inspired me to start Repurposed Kate. The ultimate goal for 2024 is to design a life (with limited resources) in which I am happy, motivated, and self-sufficient. If I can do that at 51 years old, anyone can do it. Thank you for subscribing and holding me accountable for living my intentions and sharing my results in real time. 

This is the FOURTH installment of Repurposed Kate's Weekly Update, which means it’s time to hold myself accountable. I guess I'll just jump in and let you know what I've been up to.

---

Last Week's Intentions and Results 

Here are a few of my achievements and setbacks from last week: 

1. Get Real About My Marriage/Divorce:

George is making this easier and easier.

I may not have mentioned before that when I had him removed from the house, he told everyone in my orbit that I kicked him out because I’m back on meth, not that he gets drunk and threatens me, my dogs, and my friends with guns. My Straight Date comes up on seven years in June.

A few days ago, he called me and invited me to go to a motel with him for the night and get high. He had already called someone he could score from; he just needed my green light.

That was the easiest “no” of my life. Not only do I LOVE not being on meth, but I already had my head on the pillow for sleep when he messaged me. To top it off, he’s the absolute worst to get high with. I’ll spare his anonymous dignity and not go into details about why he’s the worst. As the kids would say: IYKYK

As easy as it was to say “no” in the moment, I can’t deny that I have thought about it a lot in the days since. A lot. And THAT really pisses me off. HOW DARE HE!???!

Like I said, he’s making it easier to manage my perspective about having a relationship with him. If it’s not about taxes, property, or credit card bills, there’s really no reason for me to even think about talking to him.

Thanks, George.

2. Be selective about my side hustles:

Speaking of getting high… Trying to manage the small marketing gigs I was dealing with are a huge trigger for my meth habit. I’m dropping them.

If I had speed-induced stamina, I could keep track of all of the steps and promotion required at the end of a full day working on the ranch, sleep five hours every third day, and everything would be “fine.” Except it wouldn’t be anywhere close to “fine.” I would spend the extra money on drugs, not my debt, for one thing… Then, I would eventually lose my job, house, dogs, chickens, and heifer. My dignity would check out somewhere along the way.

So, I’m dropping the side hustles (except for Substack… even though I’m doing this one for free so far).

Jeez… That’s a lot of talk about drugs. I don’t usually post many personal pics, but here are some of the things I would lose if I’m not intentional about side hustles.

Wobble the Bobblehead ^

Ellie Mae Fly Away, aka The Widdle^

Lucy(r) and Ethel(l)^

Pettin’ Bull^

My heifer, Spot, is at the very end (she doesn’t like to run, me either…). I used the video in case you haven’t seen happy cows lately. (They are running through the best grazing wheat in the county and excited that we are there to feed hay… we feed hay every day. They were also feeling good because it was in the low 20s… They love that weather!!!^

3. Bonus Update From Last Week:

I’ve been trying to manage my health better post-op. This week I reached a major weight-gain goal: I broke 130 pounds!!!

YAY!

Yay? Not really. I gained it in an unhealthy way (fats and sugars) for my condition. I was just getting really tired of hearing people tell me that I am so thin I look sick, even though I was following the prescribed clean diet my doctor advises.

I have an appointment with my doc tomorrow morning, during which I’ll confess. Hopefully, we can come to an agreement about a diet plan that won’t make me look like Skelator and won’t destroy my liver. My “healthy” weight goal is 135 pounds… I was 113 a month ago.

4. Super-double Bonus Update From A Past Week:

I paid off two credit cards this week (under $100 total), then I cut those bitches up like they owe me money. There’s that.

---

I put my heart into these intentions. Some were a success, others a learning experience. Each experience, success or failure, is an opportunity to grow. 

---

This Week's Intentions 

Looking ahead, I'm setting up new intentions, leaning in on practical, daily living needs: 

1. Write:

I’ve been working more hours on the ranch (luckily, there’s always something to do on the ranch), so I haven’t been writing for this publication like I feel like I should. I feel like I need to schedule time to post more to the newsletter because I have more than one piece that needs to be edited and sent. I also have a little book of ideas to write about that I carry at work. It contains an ever-growing list.

I get home late, love on the dogs, read my SS subscriptions, restack, and post on Notes before I eat (or not) and go to bed.

I started writing these updates on Sunday evening so you can wake up to them on Monday morning. Lately, I’ve been writing them on Monday evening because I can’t believe that the week is already gone. Monday, post. BAM! Monday again.

Scheduling a structure for writing is a great idea, even if I do say so myself.

2. Be assertive with men who say all of the wrong things:

Texts I have received this week from someone I’ve known for at least 45 years and regularly encounter in the course of my job. (My reply):

“Don’t be nervous or uncomfortable around me.” (I’m not uncomfortable or nervous. Timing is everything… MY timing”)

“I hope you’ll give into me just a little….” (I have spent my entire life “giving in” to people who want something for me or from me that I don’t want or don’t want to give. I’m going to give in to me for a while.)

Texts I haven’t responded to, because I feel like I have already been clear and polite (all in one day):

“Morning sunshine”

“Something about a hard-working, independent woman. I would do anything for you.”

“I’m not going to give up on you.”

Any ONE of these messages, alone, makes me sick to my stomach because I know what they can lead to. Pile them up in a week (I didn’t include all of them or the entire message—some are creepier), and it’s a classic first week of communication with any abuser I’ve ever been with.

Here I am… Conditioned for half a century to be nice and not hurt anyone’s feelings. Especially a man who is just “being nice” or “offering a compliment.”

I want to say, “You’re creeping me the fuck out. You sound like every man who ever abused me. Back the fuck off. Don’t text me; I’ll text you… or I won’t.”

How do I do that? That’s a real question. How do I do that? PLEASE COMMENT YOUR ADVICE.

---

I am committed to these intentions and will put all my effort into achieving them. 

---

Who I’m Reading on Substack

There is an amazing piece that I loved so much this week… The longer the week went on (brief as it was…), the more it resonated with me: In the restful houses of women who live alone by

Poorna Bell

.

It is a must-read for all, man or woman… anyone living in a household with a partner absolutely should read this. Anyone living in a household with a partner should be able to objectively consider how the household runs and who serves whom, how and why. (I’m probably doing a poor job of explaining why you should read it. Just do.)

Your Turn 

I would love to hear about your intentions and how you're progressing. Please share your thoughts, your wins, and your lessons in the comments. Let's grow together and support each other. We’re all on this journey of growth and self-improvement together. 

---

Thank you for being a part of my journey and for walking this path with me. Remember, it's not about perfection; it's about progress. See you next week with more updates and reflections. 

Stay Motivated, 

Kati Kate Katherine

--- 

Remember, your journey is unique, and your story is important. Keep setting intentions, keep striving, and keep growing.